Monday, December 27, 2004

Its OVER! 

Thank goodness. Christmas is over. i survived. Ugh. Today, in my excitement that the holiday had passed, i took down my Christmas tree and undecorated my house. Hopefully some sanity will return to my household now. i do feel a little sad for my loss of enthusiasm for Christmas. i wasn't always this way. i used to be a regular little elf... but that was a different time, and i was a different girl. Now, it is so much work and stress, i can barely enjoy my kid's reactions. Much less enjoy anything for myself. Maybe in time i will be able to throw myself into it again. i can only hope so. J and i are rather distant from each other lately, depressingly so. He has been in a bad mood for weeks, and i have withdrawn as far as possible as a defense against his moodiness and unpredictable anger. This entry is depressing. *sigh* i want a new life.

angel sighed at 12/27/2004 08:57:00 PM

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Monday, December 13, 2004

Just a Nice Family Weekend 

So, i have my rag. So nothing naughty has happened lately, dammit. But, we did have a fun weekend with our kids. Just playing with them and baking cookies and looking at Christmas lights. Kami is so big now, and its so much fun to do things with her. Its like doing it again for the first time myself, just watching her explore. And she is learning to count and phonics and so much. i just love it. i am so proud of my beautiful, smart, kind daughter. And of my handsome, special, loving son. There it is a super mushy, sappy post, but its how i'm feeling right now. i am lucky. i love my husband and i love my kids, and they love me. What else do i need?

angel sighed at 12/13/2004 08:57:00 PM

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Friday, December 10, 2004

Ouch! 

Okay, my six-year-old son has kicked my ass. Today i was sitting at the puter attempting to work on a webset for someone when my kid decided he wanted attention. i was trying to finish up the graphic i was working on so that i could go play with him, when he got sick of waiting and grabbed the back of my chair. Its one of those rolly chairs that tilts forward and back. The damn thing toppled over backwards (thank god, it missed Brad by inches) and threw me against the bed rail with my arm and right hand. Both are swollen and bruised horribly and i cannot move my right thumb at all. i swear that kid is Satan. i used to think J was Satan, but i have now decided he is only one of the lesser demons sent here to ease the coming of the true Satan, Brad. None of this makes it easy on the angel living in their midst. i may have to run away while i still have one working opposable thumb. For fucks sake! Okay, i promised to tell about my health issue, but i've been putting it off. Here it is. i had a heart attack last Thursday. i was helping my youngest niece Jenny move into her first ever apartment and i guess i just over did it. The docs say i don't seem to have damaged it any further (i damaged it when i had Kami) but that i must must must change my life or i'm gonna croak. So i have to loose weight, start exercising regularly, and quit smoking. No chocolate, and no cigarettes... BEWARE i'm about to turn into a royal bitch!

angel sighed at 12/10/2004 08:55:00 PM

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Sunday, December 05, 2004

Another Passion 

So, i've been sick. i haven't been blogging lately because i feel pretty bad. i'll come back to this issue in a couple of days when i know more, but for now, i just don't want to deal with it. i've been reluctant to post, because i didn't want to push J's beautiful list off the front page, but, i'm very sick of looking at our fight. So... i thought we'd talk about my fourth great love... (J, my kids, and my family being in the top three) BOOKS. i love books and i'll read most anything. If i like a book i'll read it repeatedly gleaning every bit of symbolism, foreshadowing, and literary reference i can. i have little patients for technical science fiction, but beyond that, i'll read anything that isn't nailed down. Here are a few of my favorites... and why they made it into my favorite list. From the Corner of His Eye by Dean Koontz. This book is one of the few spiritual novels (yes, Dean Koontz wrote a spiritual novel, read it and tell me that isn't spiritual) i have ever read that didn't annoy me. i am not sure exactly where i am in my path to spirituality. Its been a bumpy ride, but this book spoke to me. It really made me think, which is always a good quality in my reading material. All of the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. These are without doubt, the best escapism reading ever. They have been maligned with the title of romance novel... but that is just... i cannot even think of a similar mislabeling that is bad enough to compare. They are sexy, but they are also funny, sad, poignant, chilling, and heartbreaking. In short, they are wonderful, and if you haven't read them, you should. The Stand by Stephen King. This is the most chilling book i have ever read. Every time a bad string of the flu starts going around i panic. i read this book when i was twelve or so, and it certainly had an impact on my life. i've spent my life thinking "What would Stu Redman do?" about any given situation. The rich symbolism, the battle of good and evil, the creepy idea that humans are bound to destroy ourselves eventually. It all adds up to something more than a horror novel. The Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling. Yeah, yeah, i know, these are supposed to be for kids. i don't care, i love them. They are more than brain candy too. i have been trying to figure out (using the clues in the books) if J.K. plans to kill Harry off at the end of book seven, and i remain flummoxed. i think my favorite part of this series is that i can always keep guessing. And who wouldn't like books wherein one's archenemy is turned into a ferret and bounced up and down a school corridor? i love it. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells. i love this look at the complicated tangle that is relationships between mothers and daughters. my own mother and i had a very complex love for one another and i sincerely wish she had lived to read this book. i would have loved to have discussed it with her. Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy E. Allison. This story broke my heart into a bazillion pieces. It is the story of a young girl whose mother loves her step father. To distraction. You will cry. You will be angry. And you may change the way you think about a few things. Lord of the Flies by William Golding. This classic tale of human nature will always be one of my favorites. Perhaps it was Hobbes who had it write after all huh? "In nature, life is nasty, brutal, and short." i rediscovered Lord of the Flies in college when i was writing a paper for one of poli sci classes and discovered that bit from Hobbes... this book definitely gives a picture of his view on the world. So there it is... A SUPER short list of a few of my favorites. i could go on, possibly into eternity, but i figure i've rambled long enough. If there is anyone out that with similar taste in books who'd like to talk about 'em sometime, please give me a holler! i've missed talking books since my mother died. The rest of my family is sadly lacking in the ability to discuss books... even pop culture books like these... lets not even get started on great literary works.

angel sighed at 12/05/2004 08:55:00 PM

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