Monday, February 27, 2006

No Wonder 

i'm sick. Brad's sick. i spilled boiling water on my stomach and i have a wound that is getting infected i think. my jaw is fucked. i have my rag. Damn. No wonder i'm in a shitty mood.

angel sighed at 2/27/2006 11:08:00 AM

 6 comments

Friday, February 17, 2006

Oh Yeah! 

Whew. i promised a hot sex post, and boy do i ever have one. But, first, let me tell you, i almost got drummed out of the subbie club. Last night we had sex, and i was grouchy and in a bad mood and when J yanked my hair i got PISSED OFF and bit him on the knee. We proceeded to have extremely bad sex and i felt like shit. Boo hoo, horror, despair. But, today... J tied me face down on our new huge four poster bed. My arms together to a cut out in the headboard and an ankle to each post at the foot of the bed. i felt stretched and apprehensive. He strapped the ball gag tight in my mouth and then he got the new flogger firerunner and her Master sent us from bdsm-gear. (NOTE: If you are shopping for a new flogger check these people out. YUMMY! And priced right too!) No build up, no warm up, just extremely hard strokes to my ass and back. All i could do was moan and wiggle and it HURT! But, of course soon i started to get turned on. That was when he got his big evil bag of goodies out and pulled out the vibrator and the way too big butt plug. i winced and whimpered when i realized he had that butt plug. We have had anal sex in a long while or done any other anal play. i knew that was going to hurt like a mad bastard. And i was right. Although he did mercifully lube it extremely well getting it in felt like being cornholed with a corncob left to dry in the sun for a month. In short OUCH. Once the plug was in deep and tight he jammed the vibrator in me to the hilt, the clit massager ramming against my most sensitive flesh so hard i squeaked in a most undignified manner. But, by then i was way beyond caring. The pain was so intense and yummy and wonderful i could only grind my hips even though it shamed me horribly. Then he picked up that wonderful flogger again and laid about two dozen extremely hard strokes on my back, ass, and upper thighs. Heavenly agony. i felt on the verge of orgasm right then. i felt all of my tension of late slip away and i gave myself completely to his will. He asked me questions and although my mind seemed very far away and fuzzy i tried to answer him around the gag in my mouth. "Do you remember now? Huh? Whose are you? Whose?" i did. Eventually he pulled the vibrator from my pussy and the plug from my ass. i felt so empty. But, not for long. He cut my legs free and had me up on my knees, my ass held high in the air. And, then he plunged his thick cock into my ass. White hot fire shot through me. It hurt so bad and i wanted it so much. More, more, i was thrusting back against him, offering myself for greater and deeper penetration. After some time he wiped himself off and fucked my pussy for a while. Long, deep, hard, heavenly strokes that seemed to shatter that wall i'd built up around myself again and again leaving me soft and vulnerable and oh so very fucking hot. Finally he flipped me onto my back and plunged into my ass again. He leaned over and grabbed a couple of clothes pins he had laid on the bed and clipped them on the very tips on my nipples and fresh nerve endings screamed. i could only close my eyes and hang on. i was so into it i was sucking greedily on the ball gag, reveling in being so violated. He rode my ass hard and without mercy. Finally pumping his semen deep inside me as i shrieked into the gag. Then he shoved the vibrator back into my pussy and pulled the pins off my nipples and twisted and squeezed them. my orgasm was so close. i wanted his pain so much. i wanted to be back in that space. i wanted to suffer for him. i wanted it, needed it, had to have it. And, when he finally shoved another dildo into my ass the most intense orgasm raced through me it caused me to buck and arch on the bed. Finally i lay spent and shuddering and he went and got the digital camera. He took a snap of me, making me squirm with humiliation. But, honestly, i kind of liked it too. i wanted to give him anything, everything, all things. Whew. It was fucking hot, boys and girls. F-U-C-K-I-N-G H-O-T! And, i do remember. And, i'm so grateful. i hate when i get stuck in that bitchy, grouchy, pissy, hurt frame of mind. i'm so grateful he helped me out of it and back into this soft, comfortable place of submission where i am so happy. Wanna hear something insane? i can't wait to come down enough to clean his house and wait on him. i'm still shaking and a little out of it, and he doesn't want me doing those things yet. But, i want to. And, i'm glad. YAY!

angel sighed at 2/17/2006 07:24:00 PM

 7 comments

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Happy Blogaversary to ME! 

Well, its that time of year again kiddos. May i present my new blog template for 2006 in celebration of my impending 2 year blogaversary. i know my posting gets sporadic from time to time, but i'm here to stay folks. i'll probably do another of those goofy quizzes and maybe a year in review type thingy. And, you guys should seriously check out the artist who did my new image. She is hella talented. Her link is down there in the credits. Its worth the trip. And, J has promised to fuck me tonight. Update tomorrow.

angel sighed at 2/16/2006 10:34:00 PM

 3 comments

Couch Potato 

So. i now have: satelite tv, an xbox, a digital camera, a new computer, and money in my bank account. Not a lot, but still. This time last year, we weren't doing that well. And, you know what? Now all i do is waste my fucking time. i haven't been flying, my low carbing has gone to hell in a handbasket, i've not made a blog template in ages, i hardley ever remember to blog, and i just generally suck. Did you see Fight Club? You should. Its making a hell of a lot more sense these days. Of course, i am totally crackers. And, no, i still haven't gotten laid. i'm going to take to grinding up viagra in his food.

angel sighed at 2/16/2006 01:56:00 AM

 2 comments

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Princess and The Red Tulip 

This is a little story i wrote the other day. Unedited and unpolished. And, no, i'm not going to edit it or polish it. There was once a beautiful princess who had lived five long years. She lived in a castle by the sea. She had games to play and friends who laughed and cake to eat. She was allowed to run and play on her sturdy little legs and when shadows crossed her eyes there was no danger, only clouds. She had a Mama who loved her and a Daddy who doted on her. There was nothing that the king and queen enjoyed more than singing songs with their beautiful princess. Every single night in creation the queen would brush the princess' long hair until it shone and the king would make cheese crackers for them all to share. No one ever fought, no one ever starved, no one ever screamed. Perfect peace and harmony reigned. It rarely rained and when it did there was always a rainbow. Life was perfect, except for the red tulip that grew next to the castle steps. When the princess looked into the tulip she saw another world. A world that was scary and hard and sad. She did not like the tulip and so she pulled it and threw it into the sea. But, the next day, there it was again. Right by the castle steps, as though she had never touched it. The princess was not happy. Nothing like this had ever happened before. She went to her mother and told her about the tulip. She told her that she did not like it and that she wanted it to go away. And, because the queen loved her princess so very much she sent a gardener around to destroy the tulip post haste. But, the next day it was there again. Red and shiny and insolent. Peering into the tulip made the princess's heart hurt. The world it showed was just too horrible to exist. She just had to get rid of that horrible thing. She just had to. So the princess went to the king and told him about the tulip. She begged him to make it go away. And, because the king loved his little princess he went outside himself and plucked the flower. He pulled all of its petals off and had the cook put the stem in the garbage disposal. The princess watched. She knew the king would take care of it. But, the next day, it was by the castle steps. So the princess decided to ignore it. She would pretend that the horrible red tulip didn't exist. And, that was when the tulip started to multiply. Each time the little princess turned her head from the tulip another grew beside it. Within days the sea was almost completely blocked from view by the tulips. And, so the princess gave up. She looked into the depths of the flower. She looked down and saw a scrawny little girl that looked like her in a big hospital bed. The little girl's head was bandaged and the little face was bruised. There was no mommy or daddy by the little girl's bed. She was all alone. The little girl on the bed started to stir and the princess was suddenly terrified. She wanted desperately to throw the tulip down and run away, but somehow she could not. The machines next to the little girl on the bed began to scream and the princess screamed with them. Something was horribly wrong. Some horrible thing was happening to her. She hurt. She hurt all over. And, with a horrible tumble she flopped back on her hospital bed. She jerked and shuddered through the last seizure she would ever have to endure. The nurse pulled the sheet over the little lost face and went to call the police. She had to inform them that the little girl didn't make it. She hoped that they gave her junkie whore mother life in jail and that horrible man. She couldn't think of anything bad enough for him. The nurse never knew the little girl was really a princess.

angel sighed at 2/14/2006 02:17:00 PM

 3 comments

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Supposed To 

Okay, okay, so maybe they should send the men with the butterfly nets after me. Damn, you know, shit happens sometimes. i'm glad i didn't have to make yet another pilgrimage to the funny farm in order to bow down to the gods of intoxication. For the record, those asshole doctors don't know any more than i do. When i go off to the hospital all the do is give me so much medication i don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. You know what? i can do that here, a hell of a lot cheaper. Getting to the point that i have to stay stoned out of my mind all the time is a bummer and its embarrassing, but like everything else, it will eventually go away and things will return to what passes for normal in this house. J and i are having sex more. That helps too. The tighter he controls me the less control old shit has over me. Is that healthy? i have no idea. But, its how it works. i get crazy and he takes care of me. And, when i am strong, i take care of his every whim and desire. Perhaps this is not the way relationships are "supposed" to work. Frankly, i could give a fuck how its supposed to go. This is how it works for us. And, i am so lucky i have this. So i'm sure as hell not complaining. Next hot sex posted here.

angel sighed at 2/12/2006 12:05:00 PM

 1 comments

Friday, February 03, 2006

And, i'm still WEIRD 

Kitty tagged me for another meme because she is a sadist. i really don't mind doing memes at all, if fact, i often enjoy them. But i hate tagging people and not following the directions kicks my OCD into high gear. i am officially too insane for memes. So i am going to do the meme, and not tag anyone and then obsess. 5 Weird Habits 1) Every time i brush my teeth, i actually have to brush three times. Once with peroxide to loosen plaque, then with toothpaste to freshen my breath, and then again with peroxide to make sure there are no germs left in my mouth. Did you know your mouth is the dirtiest part of you? Ugh. 2) When i am stressed i pull out my own hair. i try to stop it, but i can't. i suddenly find myself holding a clump of hair and my scalp bleeding. One of these days i'm gonna go bald. 3) i sniff myself and my children a lot. i'm obsessed with the idea that one of us might smell bad. i can't stand the thought. If i even think i may smell bad i get in the tub. And, if that doesn't make me feel clean enough, i wipe myself down with rubbing alcohol. 4) i don't much like french kissing. It makes me feel claustrophobic. 5) When no one is around(or they are but i forget about them) i talk to myself in the third person a lot. As in "angel shouldn't have forgotten to wash her husband's jeans. It will serve her right if he beats her ass." There, even more evidence that i am completely insane. Kitty, people are going to send the men with the butterfly nets after me.

angel sighed at 2/03/2006 01:27:00 PM

 3 comments

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Some Kind of Better 

Hmmm. Scratch that. The bank still sucks, the car door still sucks, but things with J are better. A hell of a lot, orgasm and spanked kind of better. Laughing and talking kind of better. i should quit being such a pessimistic alarmist.

angel sighed at 2/01/2006 12:38:00 AM

 3 comments